I wanted to talk to you about how helpful I am and yet I have still been put on a diet. Have you heard of diets? It is where you get no extra food, less dinner AND you are not allowed to take food from the baby or eat the things he drops on the floor. What good is a baby if you cannot eat the things he drops on the floor?!! It is all that Ladee called Mum’s fault because she keeps saying I am over weight. I can always rely on Dad to sneak me some bits though.
Here are some reasons why I should not ever be on a diet.
I love to eat food.
It will be winter soon and I need insulation as I am moulting all my fur just now.
I am very good at helping with the dishes. Much better than squiggly who just takes them back out again instead of licking them.
I am very helpful by guarding from intruders and barking at strange noises. We have had building work going on near our house for nearly two years now and I still make sure I am as vigilant as ever. Back when Squiggly was a little squiggly sometimes he would wake up and help me make lots of noise. I don’t know why this made Mum cry sometimes though…
I am a good baby sitter.
I am very good at being brushed. I never bite the brush like Ludo used to.
I am very handsome. I get told all the time that I am.
8. I am still very good at helping with the chores, like chasing the vacuum cleaner or chewing up socks.
What do you think, if I present my case to mean old Ladee will I get to not be on a diet?
The last couple of months, Squiggly has started eating real life food and not just milk. He eats a lot of things like vegetables,
but I am not fussy at all, whilst it is better to get things that smell good like bacon and bread, I am not too proud to eat a pea, or well, anything! But, being part of a pack, it is important to get what TND (our Dad) calls ‘Optimal Positioning’
You might think I am in a very good position here. Well, I thought so too. I am as close as I can possibly get. Ready to sneak out and get the food no matter which direction it falls in. But, let me show you why this is not ‘Optimal Position.’
Yes. Food on back, not in mouth. That is the wrong place for food to be. It got all stuck in my fur and Mum had to pull it out. It was omelette, so it would have tasted good too.
Much better. I am also making sure I am firmly between Arthur and the Squiggly. Because this way I do not have to growl and make sheltie angry faces at him to make him move away. Mum doesn’t like it when I do that by Squiggly’s feet. Plus it is not fair if Arthur gets nearest because he can do this.
Which is not very fair!
Squiggly is being a very good boy at the moment and he is very generous and gives us lots of stuff. Sometimes Mum says ‘leave it’ (you gotta be quick with Mum), especially if he drops his spoon because at first we ate a couple of those, plus Mum likes to go wash them when they fall on the floor.
Good luck everyfur on achieving Optimal Positioning, whether it be by a highchair, a normal chair, a kitchen counter, or maybe someone eating an ice cream. I learnt my skills from my brofur Ludo who had really mastered the head on knee trick, but I’m a little too anxious about needing to look at the food to do that.